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Orpanda, The Last Gift of Hephaestus
After Pandora releases all evils into the world, Hephaestus creates the Orpanda, an artificial lifeform and counterpart to his first creation. A tiny creature unable to fight off a single blade of grass, his new pet seemed harmless enough to the gods of Olympus. However, Hephaestus had great plans for this new animal. He wanted his creation to represent all of Olympus, to shine upon a throne of his own, rather than a protector of the overworld as Cerberus is for Hades.
They hid their snickering under their smirks, wanting to show Hephaestus the reaction he intended to elicit. As a show of appreciation, Dionysus threw a banquet for Hephaestus, Aphrodite, Pandora and the Orpanda. Being mortal, the two creations were not allowed to drink such strong wine, but Hephaestus had his fill. Aphrodite, able to persuade the inebriated Hephaestus with much ease, has the man sit on the same throne he built for Hera, his so-called mother. Blind-drunk, he was unable to see what they had done to him. The wine he drank temporarily stripped him of his divinity and trapped him.
Then, just as she did at his birth, Hera threw him off of Mount Olympus. The gods thought Hephaestus would be stuck there for as long as they’d wanted him to be. He’d get bored and they’d free him later when the fumes of his anger died out. Hephaestus then sobered up and forgot everything that happened. He wondered why he was stuck on a throne at the base of Olympus. They assumed the Orpanda was some lowly animal with no real use. At the bottom of a cliff, Hephaestus struggled and Pandora failed in freeing him.
But the Orpanda is not Pandora. Hephaestus orders the creature to consume everything divine. His diminutive creation opens its mouth, wider than Cerberus’ jaws, and eats the throne whole. Aphrodite, having felt sorry for him, arrives and wonders how he freed himself. Pandora confronts her and the goddess of beauty and love feigns cluelessness before tending to any of Hephaestus’ wounds. She sees the seemingly harmless Orpanda, rolling in the grass and staring at her. Aphrodite wonders how he’s gotten so big and why he is now made of gold.
The Orpanda eats the goddess whole. And so begins the massacre of the gods: first Aphrodite, then Dionysus, then Ares, Hera, and finally Zeus. During this time, Pandora helps Hephaestus recover from his hangover as his divinity returns. All of Olympus soon fades in the bottomless pit that is the Orpanda. Pandora’s and Hephaestus’ friendship grows stronger, but so does the god of craftsmanship and his own Achille's heel: the divinity that was taken from him, a punishment that served as his protection from The Orpanda. Having ordered the Orpanda to consume everything divine, Hephaestus would be his final meal. Pandora kept Hephaestus safe for as long as she could.
While the Orpanda was stronger, Pandora was clever. She asked the creature that if the Orpanda must consume all things divine, and he is the result of a god, does that not make him a divine creation? The Orpanda, conflicted, comes to one conclusion.
The Orpanda eats himself whole by turning himself inside out, releasing all of Olympus and vanishing out of existence.